Book Review: Where to Begin by Cleo Wade - A Journey of Self-Discovery and Empowerment

I purchased Cleo Wade's "Where to Begin: A Small Book About Your Power to Create Big Change" at Barbara's Books at O'Hare International Airport on May 4th, 2024. It was a beautiful Saturday in both Chicago and New York. I was in Chicago briefly for my dear friend Camesha's wedding. Her wedding to D'Angelo was absolutely stunning, reflecting her unique vibe and aura. Camesha exudes a quiet, assertive, and sweet soul that brings peace to those around her. Witnessing her love with D'Angelo reinforced my belief in healthy and beautiful relationships, making me all the more selective in my own life.

Following the wedding, I was in the airport contemplating a few titles, including "Demon Copperhead," which my friend Dr. Reese highly recommended. "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" also caught my eye. Despite deciding to purchase these two books, I couldn't resist Cleo Wade's "Where to Begin." The words on the cover drew me in, and I left the store with all three books, feeling a rush of excitement.

Upon my return to New York, I found myself engrossed in "Where to Begin," feeling its relevance to the new shifts and transitions in my life. The book is hardcover and has a little over 160 pages and the paper has a nice little weight to it. Life can get out of order and out of hand. Cleo's book reminds us that with all the chaos and all the ways life can disrupt our emotional states of happiness, we can never afford to let it permanently break our spirits. It speaks of the interconnectedness of us all and the intersectionality of issues within a community. However, it highlights the power of one to bring voice, to educate, and to disrupt settling for chaos as a norm.

The passage below is worth remembering:

The book urges us to tap into our power and reminds us that simply being kind to others and ourselves can disrupt oppressive energy. "Start by doing what you can with what you've got. Where you are and in your own way." The bolded phrases scattered throughout the book serve as powerful reminders that we hold the key to everything. Wade encourages us to read the book in a way that resonates with us, and I chose to devour it like one long poem over two sittings. Yes, I was that engrossed in this literary masterpiece. Its length made me feel that this was a task I could accomplish, which is crucial for me as I often juggle multiple things at once and strive for moments of stillness to truly absorb the material without rushing to the next activity or book.

I reflected on the idea of "being as good to as many people as possible" and pondered what that could mean for me. How could I embody this concept in my life? Sometimes, I find it challenging to navigate the realm of what is possible. Many of us struggle with setting boundaries in order to maintain peace within ourselves. We often prioritize the needs of others and external obligations over our own well-being, to the extent that minor inconveniences can become suffocating burdens that hinder our journey to genuine wellness. This behavior can ultimately be self-sabotaging. After all, how can we truly be beneficial to others if we continuously neglect our own well-being? The concept of healed people is revolutionary. It is affirming to realize that hurt people can't progress if they choose to dwell on their pain. And still expect to grow there.

Reading the Bible regularly and living life, I reflect on the actions of healed people in contrast to Mark 4 and the "Parable of the Sower and Soils."

3 “Listen! A sower went out to sow seed; 4 and as he was sowing, some seed fell by the road, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Other seed fell on rocks where there was not much soil; and immediately a plant sprang up because the soil had no depth. 6 And when the sun came up, the plant was scorched; and because it had no root, it dried up and withered away.7 Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns came up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. 8 And other seed fell into good soil, and as the plants grew and increased, they yielded a crop and produced thirty, sixty, and a hundred times [as much as had been sown].” 9 And He said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear and heed My words.”

It speaks highly of the environment being a critical resource for the type of growth you can have. Healed people start to realize that the environment can be tricky. The people and things you surround yourself with can deeply affect your self-understanding and your destiny. To truly heal, it's important to surround yourself with positive influences and listen to your inner voice of reason. During my healing journey and as I grew closer to God, I realized the need to take responsibility for how I held myself back. Why was I pushing myself to the limit? The immediate answer may be because I had to but the deeper answer is that I put myself last truly. Was it to maintain the image of being strong? But is it genuine strength to ignore your own well-being, Shapel? I don't believe so. Keeping toxic people, whether friends or family, in your life out of love, is not sustainable for anybody really. Moreover, you become toxic too by default. Is this kind of love truly healthy if it's based on insincerity? I think not, Shapel. Trying to make everyone else happy and being the go-to person for complex issues, while struggling to manage alone? Save your limited energy, Shapel!

Your body stores every experience, and as Wade pointed out, "What have each of us not healed from yet?" (pg.103) This question constantly reminds me of the importance of accepting grace and realizing that sometimes we need to let go in order to hear God's intended message. I refused to be scorned and taken by the devil, like the seeds eaten by the birds on the path not understanding that certain things are a part of life. I refused to be like the seed on the rocky soil, just cherry-picking my way for the things that are good but not rooted in the duality of things and the reality of life itself. So when times get hard there is no faith to be tested because my belief has gone with the joy of the moment. And the worst of all to me was the idea of being choked up by thorns. This is the most common way to prevent a seed from growing in its God-given potential both in nature and as a metaphor for a person navigating life. "Distracted by the world"; I finally understand as I cultivate the good soil around me what this means as a person growing in Spirit. Philosophically speaking, God has given us free will and we always have the agency of which soil we are going to choose to fertilize us as we become real people. If we do not understand something, we can pursue understanding until we do. We can research, ask questions, and learn.

But knowledge comes with a price. Always. I felt this and learned this and have been challenged by what I am going to do about what I have learned through experience in my life. I enjoyed the book and look forward to revisiting its theme of accountability, kindness, self-care, and voice as I find myself dealing with feelings of worry,fear, anxiety and sadness. I know this book will be a guiding light to reconnecting with my infinite source of love and light: me. When it seems bleak and feels overwhelming, life and tough decisions, I will remember that the grass is greener wherever I water it and as long as I hold myself accountable for being rooted in good soil. This is where I begin.