Resilience in the Face of Adversity: Honoring My Cousin’s Legacy in Academia and Beyond with the 1st Inaugural "Every Mind Matters" World Mental Health Awareness Initiative/Event at School

Reflecting on my journey as a scholar, an educator, and a mother, it’s clear that my resilience has been tested and shaped by the struggles that came from those closest to me, as well as the trials of navigating predominantly white academic spaces. The passing of my cousin Victor marked a deep, personal turning point. He was not only family but a constant reminder of strength and authenticity in the face of silent mental health issues. My cousin had a brain tumor for most of his 36 years of life unbeknownst to everyone. As I think of him, I am reminded that my journey is as much about healing and resistance as it is about using my voice to pave a way for those who will follow, including my daughter.

Growing up, mental health was not always supported or understood, especially within communities of color. My own family struggled with the reality of it, especially from my experience of having a mother with bipolar. At times, the very people I trusted struggled to understand or validate the importance of mental well-being. Rather than finding solace in family, I often found myself navigating a landscape of misunderstanding and judgment that pushed me to suppress my own needs as a child. I performed "well" under extreme pressure and with little to virtually no complaints. I fought to balance expectations, build resilience, and seek peace even when those around me couldn’t provide the support I needed. This experience pushed me to become an advocate, committed to breaking these cycles of silence and misunderstanding for my daughter and for other children who deserve the freedom to embrace and understand their emotional worlds without stigma.

Entering academia, particularly a predominantly white institution, presented new challenges. My identity, perspectives, and voice as a Black woman are often met with skepticism and resistance. Alienation. This is an environment where my scholarship is viewed through a different lens, often questioned or seen as radical simply because it centers Black feminist ethics and critical race theory. I constantly feel the pressure to justify my work, my presence, and my passion for justice in education, which can create an isolating and exhausting experience. Academia’s systemic structures, built to uphold dominant narratives, seldom leave space for scholars like me to thrive without constant self-defense.

But Victor’s legacy is my reminder to remain steadfast. His resilience in the face of deep mental health struggles is my inspiration to keep going, to use my voice not just for myself but for the people and communities I represent. In his memory, I channel my energy into creating inclusive spaces where mental health is acknowledged, respected, and understood. My scholarship, my teaching, and my advocacy are all woven with the threads of resilience that Victor embodied. He taught me that even in the darkest moments, there is light in remaining true to one’s purpose and using that light to guide others.

As a mother, my ultimate dream is to create a world where my daughter—and children like her—can find healing, freedom, and a sense of belonging. I want her to grow up knowing that her mental well-being matters, that her voice deserves to be heard, and that she does not have to fight to be seen. By confronting these challenges in academia and in my own community, I am working to create pathways for her to walk without the same weight. My daughter’s future is my motivation to continue fighting against the stigmas and barriers I’ve faced, to ensure that she and others will live in a world where they are free to express, heal, and flourish.

In the face of adversity, my commitment to these principles only grows stronger. Each day, I strive to build an environment where others, especially children in my community, can find the mental and emotional support they deserve. My cousin Victor’s life and legacy remind me that our struggles are never in vain; they are the foundations of change. His memory calls on me to be resilient, to keep speaking truth to power, and to create a more compassionate, understanding world.

As I navigate the world of white academia and the personal challenges that come with being a Black scholar, I will continue to honor Victor’s legacy by standing firm in my beliefs. By sharing my story, advocating for mental health, and creating spaces of acceptance and healing, I hope to leave behind a legacy of resilience, one that will empower future generations to thrive with pride, confidence, and freedom. So let me tell you how this day went:

On October 10, 10/10/2024, I was able to honor and celebrate my first cousin, Victor Raymond LaBorde. Victor was a guiding light in my life, something I didn't realize until a few years ago as an adult. He is a beautiful soul who brought love, laughter, and warmth into every moment. Losing him to the deep struggles he faced with mental health was a tragedy that transformed my life, reshaping how I approach mental health, education, and my commitment to community care. On that Thursday, my thoughts drifted to memories of Victor’s laughter and his ability to make every person around him feel seen and valued. Reflecting on his life reminded me of the importance of creating spaces where all individuals—particularly children—can express their emotions, experience safety, and find understanding and belonging.

Victor’s passing left a gap in my world, but it also sparked a mission in me to ensure that no one else feels as isolated, overlooked, or misunderstood as he did. My work as a scholar, a teacher, and a community member has become an extension of Victor’s memory. Today, especially, I wanted to bring his story into my school, to let the kids know that mental health matters, and that they are never alone. I sent the following email to all staff with the gracious support of my new principal:

Good evening PS 1**Q Family,

I hope this message finds you well. As we approach World Mental Health Awareness Day, I wanted to take a moment to share something close to my heart and invite you all to reflect with me on the importance of this day.

This past March, I lost my first cousin and my older cousin, who was like a brother, Victor, to a battle with mental health. It shook my family to the core. Victor was someone whose presence lit up any room—he was funny, full of light, and always knew how to lift the spirits of those around him. Yet behind that light-heartedness, there were struggles he carried that most of us never saw and had no idea affected him after his brain surgery the summer prior. His passing was a painful reminder that even the brightest smiles can hide silent battles.

Many of us know someone who is suffering, whether in silence or more visibly. And while it can feel challenging to address such deep topics in our busy lives, I believe that each of us has the power to make a difference. That is why I am starting this initiative for World Mental Health Awareness Day—not just to honor Victor's memory but to create a tradition of checking in on one another, offering a kind word, a listening ear, or a moment of understanding. As a school community, I hope we can restore this basic humanity for ourselves and for the students to see in practice. I believe pausing in our school space can be beneficial for all of us.

I have attached some activities and resources for staff to engage with students if they need guidance and to take the lift off of preparing the activity itself. I hope that we can take 20 minutes on Thursday to observe this day and align these activities with our Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) goals and positive school community-building initiatives. 

I hope that this tradition serves as a reminder to choose kindness each day, to look out for one another, and to remember that we never truly know what each person in our community might be going through. Our simple gestures can be powerful—whether it's a small act of compassion or taking the time to ask, "How are you really doing?" These small moments can make a world of difference.

Thank you for being part of this community and for the care you show to our students, families, and each other. Let’s continue to lift one another up, not only on this day, but always.

With warmth and appreciation and a brighter Thursday, October 10th as we may opt to wear Yellow! 

I would like to thank Principal Johnson for allowing me the space and opportunity to share this initiative with you all as it is a passion project. If you need any resources or questions feel free to reach out to me. I appreciate your time and support. 

All of my Best,

Shapel LaBorde

In my classroom that day and throughout the school building, I spoke to the students about kindness and empathy. I explained that mental health isn’t something we can always see, like a broken arm or a scraped knee, but that it's equally important. I shared how Victor was someone who brightened others' lives, even as he battled his inner storms. By doing so, I hope to instill in my students the importance of checking in on others and showing empathy.

As an educator, particularly in New York City public schools, my approach to teaching is grounded in critical thinking, emotional awareness, and creating culturally sustaining spaces. I want students to understand that mental health is part of the fabric of our lives and that it’s essential to honor it. In a school system where students from all backgrounds face challenges—social, economic, personal, and systemic—I am dedicated to helping them build resilience and emotional intelligence. I don't think I could have survived without and I am sure that this combined with faith has been the reason I am deemed to have thrived in my communities.

Victor’s story also connects deeply to my academic pursuits in philosophy and education. Through my studies, I explore ideas of embodied knowledge and critical race theory, connecting the dots between self-care, community support, and social responsibility. On that day, I wanted my students to know that while we each carry our unique stories, we are bound by the same need for understanding, compassion, and support. Victor’s memory lives on in my teaching, in the philosophy I bring to my work, and in the encouragement I give to my students to be there for each other. While bullying never affected me deeply, I recognize how it can negatively impact the trajectory of a child,-even an adults life.

I have encountered unkind behavior from Black women, including older Black women whom I should be able to admire and seek support from, as well as colleagues, supervisors, peers, and even close friends. Being an only child who values the bond of the Spelman sisterhood, it is deeply painful when Black women display such conduct in both our personal and professional interactions. I am highly self-critical of my own potential to exhibit similar behavior and strive diligently to embody the qualities of a supportive "sisterfriend" and advocate for women. You know a girl's girl. There is a great need for healing within our community as Black women, femmes, and individuals. Nevertheless, I understand the importance of setting boundaries, as I refuse to be the constant target for others, and I will not tolerate gaslighting from those who claim to be friends. I sincerely wish you well from a distance.

The initiative on World Mental Health Day event also reminded me that we must dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health. Particularly in communities of color, where mental health struggles are often dismissed or misunderstood, there is an urgent need for education, resources, and open conversations. My role as a teacher and a scholar allows me to advocate for these changes. I had been complaining of an absence of conversation and awareness for three years straight. I want to create spaces in my classroom and beyond where mental health is valued as much as any other aspect of well-being, where students feel free to ask for help and empowered to offer it.

Reflecting on Victor’s life reminds me that we all have a responsibility to create a world that supports mental wellness and prioritizes kindness. Though Victor isn’t here to see the ways his life continues to inspire, I know that his legacy is present in every classroom discussion and every lesson I teach about empathy, resilience, and courage. I’m grateful to honor Victor’s memory. I’m grateful for the strength and insights his life has given me and for the opportunity to pass those on to my students and all that I encounter. On this past World Mental Health Day, may we all remember to continue to care deeply, love fully, and create a world where mental health is cherished and protected—just as we would do for those we love. And also be accountable for harm and hurt intentionally and unintentionally. These conversations matter and can transform our lives. We should always strive to live in truth.

At the conclusion of the day I felt so warm and sentimental. I sent the whole school this email:

Dear PS 1**Q Family,

I want to extend a huge THANK YOU to each and every one of you for participating in World Mental Health Awareness Day. Your enthusiasm and presence made this day truly special, and I am so grateful for the care and energy you brought into our school community today.

This day holds a special place in my heart, and hopefully after today yours too. Every Mind Matters. It's not just a saying—it's a reminder that behind every smile is a story, and behind every story is a need for connection, support, and understanding. Today, you all embodied that spirit, and I know it made a difference.

With so many transitions in our workplace and the world at large, prioritizing whole body and whole mind wellness is more important than ever. It means so much for our students to see us practicing community, compassion, and the kind of care that truly transforms lives. You have brightened my day tremendously, and I hope we can keep this tradition alive in the years to come.

I’d like to extend a special thank you to Principal Johnson for creating the space and opportunity for us to come together today, and for helping restore a culture of collaboration, care, and well-being here at PS 1**Q. Your leadership has been instrumental in making this day possible. Thank you also to our dedicated administration team for being so flexible as we took the time to engage in this important work across the building.

Please use the following links to see the bright energy from today:

World Health Awareness Day/ Victor's Promise (Google Drive)

World Health Awareness Day/ Victor's Promise (OneDrive Access)

Feel free to upload any activities you engaged in with your class or send them to me when you can. Please use strict caution with sharing the photos outside of our network and ensure you use the Media Release forms from the school to ensure the safety of everyone.

I hope the energy we shared today can carry us through the challenges that may arise throughout the school year. Let’s continue to uplift one another, support our students, and champion the message that Every Mind Matters—today and every day.

“Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”—Bell Hooks, poet and activist

With deep gratitude and appreciation,

Shapel LaBorde

Victor, you are still the best big cousin. <3

You Are Not Alone: Together, We Can Prevent Suicide

If you're feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or isolated, please remember that help is here, and you don’t have to face this alone. Each of us can play a vital role in preventing suicide by reaching out, listening, and connecting with those around us.

Know that support is available. Talking to someone about your feelings is a courageous step toward healing, and there are people ready to listen and help. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, mental health professionals, or support hotlines—they are here for you, no matter where you are in your journey.

We can all make a difference. Take a moment to check in on your loved ones and ask, "How are you really doing?" A simple conversation can bring comfort, connection, and support to those who may be struggling in silence.

Your story is important. Your life matters. Please remember that hope is real, and help is possible. By supporting each other, we can create a world where everyone feels safe, valued, and loved.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, don't hesitate to reach out. There is strength in seeking help, and there is always hope. Together, we can be the light in someone’s darkest moments.

• Call 911 for emergency services.

• Go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

• Call or text 988 to connect with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline . The Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Support is also available via live chat . Para ayuda en español, llame al 988.