Reflections on having a previously incarcerated parent + review on Netflix's Unlocked: A Jail Experiment

I recently had the incredible opportunity to immerse myself in a truly captivating experience by indulging in a binge-watching session of a masterpiece series called Unlocked: A Jail Experiment on the renowned platform Netflix. This particular show has taken me on an emotional rollercoaster, evoking a plethora of feelings and thoughts that have left a profound impact on me. As I delved deeper into the episodes, I couldn't help but wonder if the intensity of my reactions was somehow influenced by the cosmic alignment of Mars and Uranus, which are currently in conjunction, symbolizing a period of transformation and self-discovery. Perhaps this celestial event has played a role in urging me to strive toward a more authentic and elevated version of myself, prompting introspection and growth. I know it is why I felt called lately to dive deeper into the father wound as it relates to shadow work. Yes, I ignored many distractions today and listened to my instincts and intuition about what I need to work on and how I need to just be.

(Sage Ali on her first day of summer school, our first summer without Grandma Babe, and her birthday was the next day)

Quick segway, two years ago when this astrological event occurred, I was going through a time. However, when am I not? This event and its energy is about choosing the people who choose us.

Reflecting on the impact of astrological events on our lives can be both enlightening and thought-provoking. Two years ago, during this particular astrological occurrence, I found myself in a period of personal growth and introspection. It was a time of challenges and opportunities, a phase that seemed to be a recurring theme in my life.

As I navigated through this period, I couldn't help but notice the intricate patterns that were unfolding in my relationships, finances, and passions. It became clear to me that certain cycles were coming to an end, making way for new beginnings and transformations. It was as if the universe was orchestrating a cosmic dance, guiding me toward a path of self-discovery and renewal. I must learn the lessons and I think I am making progress.

One of the most profound realizations I had during this time was the importance of choosing the right people in my life. It has taken two years to finally breathe and see people for who they are after a very long time of holding my breath and expecting. The ones who reciprocated my efforts supported me with healthy conditions, and truly valued our connection. It was a lesson in self-worth and boundaries, understanding that healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and appreciation. I am proud even through pain that I am now passing the test.

In essence, this astrological event served as a catalyst for growth and evolution in various aspects of my life. It encouraged me to embrace change, let go of what no longer served me, and welcome new opportunities with an open heart and mind. It was a reminder that transformation is a constant process, and by choosing wisely and consciously, we can shape our destiny amidst the cosmic rhythms of the universe.

My entire life I have been told I am my mother's child. I look like Ramona, before all the medication. Much like I imagine what Sage Ali is experiencing when people look at her and say you are twins. But now, after some shadow work, and synchronity of events, I can say without hesitation: that I am my father's daughter, as messy as that is. With newfound clarity and unwavering conviction, I embraced the revelation that I am, undeniably, my father's daughter. The realization was not without its complexities and challenges, for the essence of my father's being manifested in me in ways both profound and again messy. It is a realization that demands introspection, acceptance, and ultimately, a redefinition of my sense of self.

Maybe that is why my father has been on my mind as of late along with the sudden discovery and desire to watch Unlocked. Now Unlocked and other prison shows always pique my interest because my father was incarcerated for over two decades, most of my life. He was released when I was 22 and had been in and out before I was born and before he was an adult. Needless to say, we have a complicated relationship as can almost be expected because he has been institutionalized and was unable to be present as a father/parent during my upbringing. Also what has been hard to heal through has been the fact that I spent a significant amount of time visiting my great Uncle Abdul throughout my life. Recently, we spoke on this and I know it is still something he is healing or will have to heal through. The impact of having a parent incarcerated for such a long period cannot be understated. It shapes one's view of the world, relationships, and oneself in profound ways. Growing up without the guidance and presence of a father figure can leave a void that is challenging to fill. Something you never even realized you have to always heal from to get back or stay in the balance. The absence of a parent during crucial developmental stages can lead to feelings of abandonment, confusion, and even resentment.

Visiting a relative in prison, like my great Uncle Abdul, adds another layer of complexity to the experience. It exposed me to the harsh realities of the criminal justice system and forced me to confront difficult emotions at a young age. A true parentified child. Witnessing the effects of incarceration on a loved one, two major father figures in your life, can be both heartbreaking and eye-opening, and left a lasting impact on my journey of healing and understanding. Navigating these intricate family dynamics requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to confront the past. It is a process of acknowledging the pain, accepting the past for what it is, and finding a way to move forward with compassion and forgiveness. My willingness to address these challenging experiences and have conversations about them is a crucial step towards healing and finding peace within myself. Always creating and being Shapel.

Being a Black Feminist scholar, prison abolitionist, educator, and mother, I couldn't help but analyze the series through a critical albeit rose-colored lens. "Unlocked: A Jail Experiment" is a docuseries on Netflix that delves into a groundbreaking social experiment at the Pulaski County Regional Detention Facility in Little Rock, Arkansas. Led by Sheriff Eric Higgins, the initiative entails unlocking the inmates' cell doors and eliminating guards, giving prisoners the responsibility to govern themselves. The primary objective is to shift the prison culture from punitive to reformative, granting inmates greater autonomy and accountability in the hope of fostering a sense of community and decreasing violence.

I respect the Sheriff for conducting this experiment and I believe it is quite radical and a step toward fostering an authentic community by restoring agency to individual men. His big question is, "How do we make the facility safer, and what can we do to still hold (inmates) accountable, but empower them at the same time?”Sheriff Higgins's approach to treating inmates with dignity resonates with Black feminist ideals of recognizing and affirming the humanity of Black individuals often dehumanized by societal structures. What about the people on the outer, outer, way-out margins of society?

It was so refreshing seeing the growth of the men and the restoral of the community. When the families got to call and visit the men, their whole energy shifted and I found myself reflecting on how much of that my father missed and why he still hurts and angers to this day. The documentary touches on the importance of family and personal relationships, as seen with inmates like Krisna “Tiny” Piro Clarke, who strives to mend his relationship with his son, as his son is already a teenager and Tiny feels the pressure to be present. This emphasis on maintaining and nurturing family bonds underlines the significance of motherhood and the broader familial roles in the lives of incarcerated individuals. I can't help but to again think about how revolutionary my Grandma Babe was in making sure my Uncle Abdul had community and family in real-time for him during his time in captivity. For many inmates, familial roles, including those of mothers, serve as crucial support systems. The experiment’s efforts to humanize inmates and provide them with better conditions can indirectly support mothers and other family members outside by improving the inmates' chances of successful reintegration into family life post-incarceration.

Black feminism emphasizes the interconnectedness of race, gender, and class in shaping experiences. In the context of the documentary, the institutionalized men, particularly those of color, face a unique set of challenges exacerbated by systemic racism and discrimination within the criminal justice system. The documentary highlights their humanity and individual stories, aligning with Black feminist efforts to amplify marginalized voices and challenge stereotypes. This is work I am passionate about and is obviously very personal and important to me.

Of course, there were moments of imperfection but nothing made me more happy than watching this and seeing the community! The education! The intergenerational magic. The last episode made me tear up a bit. I love seeing Black men and men in general express themselves in a healthy imperfect way with consideration for each other's humanity. I always say only men can fix men's issues and I do believe a lot of this magic unfortunately happens within carcel walls. I loved the coming-together moment for Chauncey and Randy. I mean this show is something I see myself watching again. And seeing Chauncy cry, Randy speaks affirmative words over him. I can't get over it. This is really radical imagination in real-life praxis. The white men like Eastside, taking accountability and Crooks, also making strives toward something different and greater despite childhood traumas, really spoke to me.

The experiment embodies principles of radical education, aiming to transform the inmates’ lives by giving them agency and encouraging self-regulation. This aligns with radical learning theories which advocate for education systems that empower and liberate rather than oppress. The experiment can be seen as a form of critical pedagogy, where inmates learn to navigate and change their environment. By participating in a self-governed community, they engage in learning that goes beyond traditional education, focusing on social and personal transformation. In one episode, True Story, Randy stated, that if they could overcome their alpha male syndromes and stop bumping heads, they would all be alright. It reminds me of this book I read in college for a feminist philosophy course at Spelman. "Guy Code" by Michael Kimmel, often referenced by its essay "Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code," explores the societal expectations of masculinity imposed on young men. Kimmel outlines how these expectations shape behaviors and attitudes, often in harmful ways.

Kimmel identifies four primary rules of masculinity that young men are expected to follow:

• "No Sissy Stuff": Men should avoid any behavior perceived as feminine or weak.

• "Be a Big Wheel": Masculinity is measured by success, wealth, and power.

• "Be a Sturdy Oak": Men should be reliable and unemotional, especially in crises.

• "Give ‘em Hell": Men are expected to take risks and show aggression.

The concept of the "gender police" refers to how peers enforce these masculine norms, often leading to homophobia, emotional repression, and a narrow definition of acceptable male behavior. These societal pressures can lead to negative outcomes for men, such as increased susceptibility to depression, anxiety, and suicidal behavior due to the constant pressure to conform to these rigid standards.

I encourage us all to think and unlearn-reevaluate what it means to be masculine in a way that is inclusive and non-oppressive. Kimmel's work can be seen as a call for radical education that promotes critical thinking about gender norms. It advocates for a more inclusive understanding of masculinity that allows for emotional expression and vulnerability, aligning with educational approaches that seek to deconstruct harmful societal norms. Sheriff Higgin's experiement is also very much aligned to these goals for a sustainable future with Black liberation in mind. And as a mother of course, mothers raising sons can benefit from this knowledge by fostering environments that challenge traditional masculine norms and promote emotional intelligence and gender equity.

Kimmel's work is a critical examination of how societal expectations shape male behavior and identity, urging a move towards a more inclusive and emotionally healthy definition of masculinity​. There are also several other works, and authors, who talk about masculinity and the pressures and fears of deviating from the social norms.

In essence, "Unlocked: A Jail Experiment" connects to these themes by challenging traditional punitive approaches, emphasizing dignity and transformation, and recognizing the complex social realities faced by the incarcerated, which align with the broader goals of Black feminism, radical education, and the importance of family and motherhood. Cheers to more Black boy joy and and to liberated carefree Black men experiencing grace, love, and healing.

And to my Dad, who I do speak with lol

"I know we haven't had the easiest journey, but I want you to know that I'm here, and I'm willing to work on building our relationship. Stronger! Your past doesn't define you, and I'm proud of the progress you're making. You only have had ten years out. Let's take things one step at a time and see where we can go from here. As long as we keep trying and make efforts to truly heal. Your strength and resilience are something I truly admire whenI think about what you've endured.

Like I said, I am my father's daughter afterall.